


promise made in firelight

by musicalphrase



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb Widogast Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Coda to 128, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Look I'm awful with tags, No Beta, Post Episode: 128, Supportive Yasha, Yasha sees him, caleb is Not Okay, hug your fucking wizard guys, really just had to get this out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29865621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicalphrase/pseuds/musicalphrase
Summary: Caleb is not okay. Yasha sees this clearly.
Relationships: Caleb Widogast & Yasha
Comments: 6
Kudos: 80





	promise made in firelight

**Author's Note:**

> Please Note: this is a coda to episode 128 and meant to take place after the escape and after Yasha, Beau and Fjord emerge from the Happy Fun Ball. Caleb is not okay. Please read with care folks.

“You’re not okay.”

The words, spilling like the softest of rain from Yasha’s lips felt like drops of fire against his face.  
  
“No. I suppose not,” Caleb admitted, his eyes starring unseeingly into the fiery realm in front of him. Yasha walked towards him, feet scuffing in the sand, as she settled beside Caleb.  
  
“We don’t just need you, you know,” she said into the fire. “We love you. I mean, I can’t speak for the others, but I’m pretty confident in that.” Caleb closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to spill, and he let out a shuddering breath.  
  
“Sometimes love isn’t enough Yasha,” he whispered, eyes still clenched shut. He jumped when he felt Yasha’s arm, heavy against his back as she wrapped her arm around him.

“I know. Caleb, I know that better than most I think,” she said as she pulled him into her side. And that simple, gentle act was all it took. Caleb collapsed into Yasha’s side, like a puppet whose strings were cut. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t quite stem the flow of the tears around the corner of his eyes. But they were quiet, and he didn’t think anyone but Yasha would notice them.

“I wouldn’t blame you, you know if you needed time away. I know I did,” Yasha continued, her eyes cast outward to the fire, her hand stroking up and down Caleb’s arm. The lack of scrutiny was calming, Caleb noted as he quietly shook apart. “I mean. It would hurt. It would hurt all of us I think if you were to go. But I know I would understand.” The soft confession cracked something inside of Caleb, a hardened shell he thought he had managed to fortify a very long time ago. And just like that, the tears slowed, and in their place stood overwhelming grief.

“Things are too giant for me to go right now,” Caleb confessed, and Yasha gave him another squeeze. She said nothing but continued to let him talk.  
“I can’t leave, not… not now. Not when Yezza, Luc, and Marion aren’t safe. Not unless it meant that- well. Maybe if I were to make a deal with him. Even then, Jester’s right, I can’t leave, I’m too useful. But Yasha I- I can’t keep this up for much longer. I was doing better, and all it took was one- I can’t keep doing this,” Caleb whispered, the confession breaking over him shattering his heart with it. Yasha’s hand squeezed his arm – the damned marked arm – once before he felt her gaze on the top of his head.

“I’ll protect you,” she promised, and suddenly the rattling in Caleb’s chest stopped its incessant thrumming.

“Was?” he asked, slipping into Zemmnian in his shock.

“I’ll protect you. From Him. I… I’ll protect you, the way someone should have protected you from him the first time,” Yasha promised again. Caleb pulled away from her grip and looked her in the eyes. The fierce anger, directed at the unspoken man on their tail, and the promise she was making to him glimmered in the firelight dancing in her mismatched eyes.

“…thank you,” Caleb whispered, and a soft calm fell over him. Yasha offered him a soft smile. “Of course,” she whispered back.

Together, they turned to watch the fire in front of them, and for the first time in many days, Caleb gave himself permission to rest.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was in response to episode 128. This is meant to be a bit of a balm for those who are struggling with how much Caleb is dealing with at the moment, and I hope that it is soothing to you, the reader, in a way that it was soothing for me to write. Sometimes when things get heavy, we need a bit of reprieve from our reprieve, you know?
> 
> Take care of yourself everyone. I love you.


End file.
